Tips On How To Negotiate From Master Negotiator Rebecca Zung

We negotiate everyday, sometimes not even knowing that we are.  These negotiations could be for the sale price of a car or something as simple as what is for dinner.  No matter what the negotiation is, you must know how to negotiate.  More importantly, when dealing with narcissism, you need to know how to negotiate with a narcissist.  What are the negotiation tips that will set you up for success?

This week on the Against All Odds Radio Show, hosts Sean V. Bradley, CSP and L.A. Williams talk about sell or be sold. Grant Cardone talks about how everyone is selling or is being sold. You are either selling someone on a concept or idea or you are being sold on why they are or are not doing something. To be successful in selling, you need to be skilled in the art of negotiation. Joining Sean and L.A. this week is the master negotiator, Rebecca Zung.

About Rebecca Zung

Rebecca Zung is an attorney and is recognized by U.S. News & World Report as a “Best Lawyer in America”, as “Legal Elite” by Trend Magazine, and recognized by her peers and the judiciary as AV preeminent rated in family law, the highest possible rating for an attorney by Martindale Hubbell.  Rebecca is one of the top 1% divorce attorneys in the nation.

In addition to her work as an attorney, Rebecca is also the author or Negotiate Like YOU M.A.T.T.E.R.: The Sure Fire Method to Step Up and Win, and Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide to Achieving Emotional, Physical & Spiritual Freedom. Rebecca even helps people with her free Crush My Negotiation Worksheet, focused on Taking Control Of Your Negotiations With A Narcissist.

She is also a YouTube superstar! Her channel educates people on the behaviors of narcissists including the psychology of how they act in negotiations. With over 13 million views and over 205k subscribers, she offers actual proven strategies, tactics and step by step guidance on how to effectively create leverage so that you can shift the dynamic and create a fair resolution.

Show Notes: Tips On How To Negotiate From Master Negotiator Rebecca Zung

What Is A Narcissist?

Rebecca looks at narcissism as a spectrum, because all people want to be seen, known, and feel like they matter.  The word narcissist is actually a diagnosis by a psychologist or psychiatrist, but people tend to use it to describe people who have narcissistic traits or tendencies.  These tendencies are typically tied to the most insecure people That have to suck all of their value from external sources and are paired with people who have no sense of care or empathy for others.  It is an extreme form of selfishness.

Tips On How To Negotiate

Rebecca Zung’s Negotiation Strategy

Rebecca’s strategy for negotiation follows the acronym SLAY.

1. Strategy: Build a super strong strategy.
2. Leverage: Create invincible leverage.
3. Anticipate: Anticipate what the other side is going to do and be two steps ahead of them.
4. You: Focus on you and your position.

Perspective, Mindset, & Preparation

Perspective is critical to negotiation.  Rebecca feels like 80% – 95% of a negotiation is won before you even walk into the room.  Of this, 50% of it is your mindset.  You have to know, believe, and feel with every cell in your body that you have the power to achieve what it is that you want to achieve.

From that place, that’s when you start doing all of your preparation.  You want to start preparing as if you are on both sides of the negotiation.  This will keep you ready to respond to their arguments and objections with the proper rebuttals.

Negotiation Tips: It Starts With Preparation

There are many aspects to negations, but it all starts with preparation.  There are two key areas in your preparation.

1. Research.  You need to do extensive research.  It is not only researching your side, but also researching their side.  From there, you need to formulate your argument and put together your leverage.
2. Risk Analysis.  The second key to your preparation is the risk analysis.  You need to identify the risks.  Then you need to analyze the return on investment and how much time is needed.  Lastly, you need to evaluate the emotional drain and the timing of the negotiations.

How To Negotiate With A Narcissist

The Flaws Of Negotiating With A Narcissist

When you are dealing with a narcissist, there is a flaw in thinking that there might be something that they are going for.  People typically enter these negotiations thinking what the other side wants.  Then, they approach the situation to just give it to them, especially if they just want to get out.  The flaw with this is that narcissists need an endless amount of narcissistic supply, which is anything that feeds their ego.  This could be things such as intimidation or control.

Perspective When Negotiating With A Narcissist

When negotiating with a narcissist, it feels like it never ends because they need this constant supply.  So, they keep moving the goalpost and then will blame you.  With this in mind, you can win negotiations with a narcissist.  Rebecca has done it thousands of times.  You just have to make sure that your strategy and leverage is based on the idea that they need this supply.  

How To Negotiate With A Narcissist: Hierarchy Of Supply

However, within this supply, you need to look at the hierarchy of supply for them.  The first supply is the diamond level supply.  This could be their image, how they look, and how the world sees them.  They will protect and defend this by all means.

The next level of supply is the dark underbelly of supply.  This is the gaslighting, intimidating, making you squirm, controlling, and devaluing you.  They definitely get supply from this, but it is not as important to their diamond level supply.

The idea of strategy and leverage is understanding their levels of supply.  Once you understand this principle, you can then build your case accordingly.

How To Negotiate With A Narcissist: Put Your Strategy Into Place

The first thing you want to do is to build rapport with them.  The best way to do this is through bartering, but more specifically, narcissistic bartering.  You need to start with fluffing their ego.  “Oh you are so good at this, maybe you should be the one handling this situation”.  In doing this, you are getting them to do something you want them to do by saying they are so good at it.  Therefore, you are getting something you want out of the deal.  You are manipulating the manipulator.

Another way is to build leverage by showing how they can potentially be exposed if they don’t come to the table.  Perhaps they have practices that are less than ethical that they may not want others to know about.  It’s not blackmail, it is just ethically articulating that you have the ability to do something and that you are going to if.  This leverage can and will give you the upper hand in negotiations.

More About The Against All Odds Radio Show’s Hosts and Guests

Sean V Bradley | L.A. Williams | Rebecca Zung

Resources: Tips On How To Negotiate

Dealer Synergy & Bradley On Demand: The automotive industry’s #1 training, tracking, testing, and certification platform and consulting & accountability firm.

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